By David Blyweiss, M.D., Advanced Natural Wellness

March 12, 2021

This one’s for both you, ladies and gentlement…more with our ladies though.Or, if you’re a gentleman, I’d suggest you pay close attention too. Because your partner might need to hear this…

I recently had someone ask me the best way for women to maintain sexual wellness.

Well, my first answer is pretty simple.  Have sex!  Be creative when you must and when you can, but have some sex and have fun with it. When was the last time you smiled contentedly or laughed before, during or after some intimate time with your lover?  

I read a surprising statistic recently.  It said that more and more young people under the age of 35 years aren’t having sex as often as they did in previous generations. If you’re a Boomer, I hope you remember those days fondly back in the 60s’, 70s’ and 80s’.

People in their early 20s are now two and a half times more likely to be abstinent than the Gen Xers just a few years back.^[1]

That’s bad enough.  But then, sexual activity declines quickly as women age.  About 60% of women ages 65 to 74 report that they are not sexually active.  Then, 80% of women ages 75 to 85 years are not having sex.^[2]

I find this upsetting because sex is one of the most beautiful things two people can share.

Plus, it keeps you healthier!  And that goes for both women AND men.

A study by Harvard Medical School showed that men who ejaculate 21 times per month are less likely to develop prostate cancer — 33% less likely!^[3]

Then, the Center for Women’s Health lists all of these as benefits of a health sex life.^[4]

• Better immune system
• Lower blood pressure
• Better heart health
• Better self-esteem
• Lower levels of depression and anxiety
• Higher libido
• Natural pain relief
• Better sleep
• Lower stress levels
• More intimacy with sexual partner

Studies have also shown that the more sex you have, the better your sexual function will be. And the more enjoyment you get when you have it.   So folks, here are some ideas to get you rolling if your sex life has gone a bit quiet.

Tips for a Better Sex Life

First off, have sex with someone who gets you hot — someone you love and are attracted to.  After you’ve been married for a while, some people forget the secrets or just take things for granted.

So that’s when you need to put a little more effort into being close with your loved one, speaking quietly and enjoying your time together. Plan a romantic dinner, set the mood lighting, put on some music, place your hand on their chest… you get the idea.

Really, if you don’t use it, you’ll lose it.

Beyond the physical advice, I can also recommend some medical changes that will help improve your sexual wellness.

• Take a look at your diet. For some women, sexual wellness will also come from a positive change to their diets. This will help change your gut microbiome so you can maintain decent hormone levels. Eat rainbow colored vegetables and try drinking kombucha for better gut health.
• Consider hormone therapy. Once you go through menopause, it’s possible your hormones will need some more attention. Personally, I recommend only ever using bio-identical hormones.  These are plant based products that exactly mimic the natural hormones in your body. They work better, are less expensive and avoid many of the nasty side effects found from artificial hormones.  Or find the right lubrication and make things easier with warming and soothing ingredients. There are choices right there on your pharmacists’ shelf.
• Do what it takes to feel good about your appearance. Sometimes people are less sexually driven because they feel insecure about how they look. For example, some women feel less aroused when their bodies show scars from surgery.^[5] Let’s say you had to have a mastectomy. You might consider getting a medical nipple tattoo or other procedure to help regain some confidence when looking in the mirror.
• Find a medical professional who can help. It can be hard for aging women to find the right support to address medical or emotional barriers to a great sex life.^[6] So, take the extra time to find a doctor who can talk with you about your concerns.

Sex isn’t something to be shy about. In fact, it’s an important part of our physical and emotional well-being.  So, if you know you and your partner don’t have the sex life you want, take some active steps to spice things up.

Make the best of what you can do today… your body’s best-before date is when you say it is.

Sources:

^[1] https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-single/201811/7-reasons-why-young-people-are-having-less-sex

^[2] Thomas HN, Thurston RC. A biopsychosocial approach to women’s sexual function and dysfunction at midlife: A narrative review. Maturitas 2016;87:49–60.

^[3] https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/does-frequent-ejaculation-help-ward-off-prostate-cancer-20090929112

^[4] https://www.ohsu.edu/womens-health/benefits-healthy-sex-life

^[5] akar K, Cumming CE, Lees AW, Hundliby M, Nabholtz JM, Kieren DK, Jenkins H, Wentzel C, Handman M, Cumming DC. Sexuality, body image and quality of life after high dose or conventional chemotherapy for metastatic breast cancer. Can J Hum Sex. 1997;6:1–8.

^[6] Caruso, S.; Rapisarda, A.M.; Cianci, S. Sexuality in menopausal women. Curr. Opin. Psychiatry 2016, 29, 323–330.